So I’ve realized that some are a bit confused about what I offer. I am a rubdown, dinner/date and travel companion. I provide intimacy without the mac and cheese, okay. You will get mentos in Diet Coke at the end instead (Google it). 😂

In all seriousness though, I love pampering my man. I want you to feel desired, appreciated and completely relaxed. I love taking the stress away and providing intimacy. Too many people think intimacy is synonymous with sex. Sure, intimacy can include sex; however, it’s not dependent on it.

Imagine this…

You’ve had a very long day. Everybody and everything has gotten on your last nerve. You come over and I have soft music playing, candles lit and then there’s me in lingerie and a robe, smelling like Valentino perfume with a coy smile on my face. I give you a warm hug and gently guide you to my bedroom. 

You’re super nervous to the point where I can feel you shaking. I just hug you for a moment and allow you to inhale me. I help you undress and have you lay on the bed.  I feel the anxiety and tension release from your body as I slowly caress you from head to toe. You don’t have to overthink it. You don’t have to perform. All you have to do is lay back, enjoy the view and allow me to touch you in a way that will revive you. You needed this. It was way more than you ever expected and you can’t believe you ever doubted me. I clean you up and you leave feeling like the man!   

Look, I know I’m not for everybody and I’m okay with that. Anybody can give you some 🐱. What I offer, everybody can’t give you. 

Stop playing and come get this massage boy. 😛😘

-K 💕

PS – I love when I meet a guy and he’s super nervous to the point where I can feel him shaking. I love calming his nerves and taking the stress away. It’s so sweet. 💕🤌🏾

Okay so I had a complete meltdown LMAO! 

Cue the violins….

It started with a horrible holiday season and went downhill from there. I wanted to run away and setup a tent in the middle of the forest and just forget everything. I was extremely depressed. 

I wanted nothing to do with this life and I was so frustrated at the concurrence of time wasters and a-holes messing with me during my meltdown. So I just said fuck it!!! I took down my ad and most of my site and I’ve been chilling for the last four months. I had no plans of coming back. 

Thankfully I’ve come out of my fog and I’m feeling much better. Geez I feel like such a punk for falling to the pressure. 

I thought about creating a new persona because it’s kind of embarrassing but you guys would figure me out anyway so….lol. Plus, I’ve worked hard on my brand and refuse to just dump it so here I am. I had a crappy human moment but K is back!!

Thanks for all of you that checked on me and/or left sweet messages. 

-K 💕

Yeah I know, I went completely silent. I’ve been mulling over some things the last few months and wanted to make sure I was making the right decision. 

I hate what’s become of this provider life. What’s supposed to be a no strings attached, clean and cut fun time has turned into unhealthy attachments, unrealistic expectations and a lack of respect for my time. I’ve had to block way too many people lately and it’s taken a toll. I need to step back. 

Too many guy’s comfortable wasting my time lately. The hell is wrong with you all scheduling dates and canceling? New guys, old friends, heauxs playing on my phone 😉😏…… booking dates and canceling is low. 

Another time wasting activity is expecting more out of me than what this is. Lets just get together and genuinely enjoy our time together and that’s it. Damn! Why do so many of you complicate this?????????

Too many have taken my kindness for granted and honestly I’m just tired.

Thank you to those that have been amazing. So many wonderful experiences. So many great travel adventures and genuine connections. I appreciate them all especially my times in Alabama. I really have to give you guys a special shout-out because you all were the best. 💕

I’m going back to freestyling and being under the radar. I’m pulling all the way back. Clearly I’ve giving off a vibe that I can be jerked around and I need to work on that. 

This website will be gone the beginning of April and all my ads will be pulled. I will still be around, just not online. I think I work best that way. I’ll keep my number and email for now.  Some of you I hope to remain in contact with for sure. And some I wish a life of razor blades and lemon juice. 

Who knows, maybe I will return again but for now goodbye. 💕

K

You dirty dog you!

Did you really think I would be training my…. 😂😂

Anyway! Now that you have fallen for my shameless clickbait and are here, let’s talk about people pleasing and your ass best keep reading! 

For ALL of my life, I have naturally been this very sweet, demure and very mindful good girl. You remember those girls growing up right? The ones that never put out, loved Jesus and never got in trouble?? That was me – on steroids!!! That demeanor often coincided with  judgmental and people pleasing behavior.  I had big people pleaser energy! Major!! I know a lot of you can relate. You’re either that person or know that person. 

Cue the violins and let me bore you for a bit. Over the years, all that left me with was a trail of users and trifling MFs. People really will take a mile if you give an inch and I hate that about the nature of mankind. I’ve seen it in this industry all too often and I despise it. What about being kind makes people automatically think you’re weak and turns on their villain mode? Shit’s weird. 

So why is this titled Asshole Training? (From here on out I will say butthole because I’m a lady!) 😂 

Being in this industry has greatly helped with my ability to set boundaries while staying true to my natural pleasant spirit. I never want to lose that. I’ve gone through a lot but thankfully that’s remained in tact. I went through a phase where I despised being kind because I didn’t know how to use it as a strength. I also confused niceness for kindness which the two are completely different. I rather hear nails on a chalkboard than be told I’m nice. 🤢 

So here I am. A reformed people pleaser that relapses from time to time. Every so often, I snap myself out of a relapse by telling myself “girl stop being a whack ass ho and tell them no.” Let me go ahead and pop my collar because that’s a big deal! It’s the awareness for me!!

Here’s the thing though. Nothing I’ve described is truly butthole energy. I just refer to boundary setting as that because it’s provocative and it gets the people going. Buttholes are absolute jerks and sucky people that are horrible for sport. I’m not that.  

So what was the purpose of this other than to trick you into reading? I’m not so sure. I’ve just felt my boundaries being pushed lately and needed to ramble and vent some. 

-K💕 

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So I met someone today that told me he had been wanting to contact me for months and finally decided today was the day. I asked him what took so long and he shared it was a bit of nerves mixed with a bit of skepticism. Several of you have told me that I give law enforcement vibes. Lol I hate y’all for that!!! Not really. 

I get it. It’s scary AF (!!!) contacting a provider. You don’t know if I’m law enforcement, a robber, scammer, serial killer, or an evil sorceress with a palate for human blood and a collection of chains and saws in the basement with a pile of baby skeletal remains in my backyard. Not just human babies. Babies from Mars! With their cute little Martian jellied brains and delicious little green toes and — wait, let me get back on track (Happy Halloween btw!).  👻 

Okay that was weird. But yeah, I get it. It’s scary. And no, you can never be 100% sure of someone’s authenticity in this provider world but just do your due diligence regardless if you choose to see me or someone else. Check if their ads are verified, see if they have a website, social media, reviews, and google their number to see if there are other ads posted. Pay attention to how long he/she has been in business. (My Twitter goes back to 2016 btw.) Look for other supporting factors such as if they have a really cool and totally awesome blog that was wiped away a few months ago that they are trying to find the motivation to rebuild. You know, stuff like that.  Police aren’t going to put forth that much effort and I imagine that scammers, robbers and murderers aren’t that much dedicated to the cause either. 

Like stop being shy and hit me up if you are on the fence. I mean the shyness is cute or whatever but I need you to make that move. Stop playing with me! 😛

Byeeeeee

-K 💕

Hey so I know my blog is usually client focused; however, I want to address my fellow providers. I’ve had a few of you write me asking for advice and unfortunately I can’t respond to each of you timely. Here are just a few nuggets that may potentially help your journey. 

You are not meant for everybody! More guys will pass on you than contact you and IT’S OKAY!! Most are lurkers. Some won’t like your aesthetic. Many are time wasters. A lot can’t afford you (no shade). Just be yourself and the ones that appreciate it will book a date. 

This kind of goes with the previous point. You won’t always click with your clients. Sometimes you will know the reason why and other times you won’t. Things will just be off. It could be a personality clash, nerves, a bad day….who knows. It’s unrealistic to believe every session will be mind blowing. Always appreciate the ones you share great chemistry. 

Stop comparing yourself to others. NO ONE can do YOU like YOU!! You know that old saying comparison is the thief of joy? It’s true. There will always be someone hotter, smarter and more privileged than you. Work on being your best and highest self and know that’s enough. I know it sounds cliche but it’s true. 

Getting caught up in the high end vs low end talk is pointless. High end does not automatically equal higher income. Furthermore, a lot of providers don’t possess the skill sets (nor privilege, in a lot of cases) to successfully demand those rates. Find your niche and the demand will follow. Adjust your rates accordingly. Yes, I think some rates are ridiculously low but there is a happy medium. Stalling your business because you’re hung up on a price point and meanwhile missing out on a higher tax bracket is silly. 

Never allow someone to shame you for your lifestyle. EVERYBODY has something and there isn’t a soul alive that’s perfect. No one sits high enough to look down on you.

There are no civil rights in SW. You can refuse service to anyone for any reason. Your body, your choice.

Screening (whatever method you chose) is vital. The police hate us and unfortunately there are those that prey on us. You have to reduce your risks. Nothing is 100% foolproof but find a system that works for you and stick to your guns. Many potential clients won’t like it but they will be okay. Don’t argue with them and wish them well in their search.  

Last but not least, never be afraid to kick a boundary pushing MF out!! 

May the bag be ever in your favor! 🥂

September is my birthday month!!! Another year older. Another year wiser. Another year of things to scratch off my list. I’m looking forward to traveling, getting in better shape and good times! Is that not always the goal though?

Some of you know about my birthday and have asked for my Amazon list. I’m not BSing! Some have seriously asked for this and I have been a bit reluctant about sharing but what the heck, why not?

It’s totally fine to not purchase anything. I will appreciate any gesture even if only a birthday wish!!

https://www.amazon.com/registries/gl/guest-view/2S874IZXL0QGW

-K💕

Can you believe that I grew up on a farm? Yup! A real farm with pigs, chickens, ducks and crops. We also had peach, apple and pear trees, grape vines, strawberries, persimmons, watermelons and a huge garden. Oh how I miss those days. Staining my clothes from eating dewberries. Eating cold watermelon on the steps. Gorging on apples until I got a stomach ache. I didn’t appreciate that life then and remember counting down the days until I left for college. I think it’s like that for most people regardless of where they’re from though. I’m itching to go back one day.

My ideal home is on a farm with my dogs, cat and some goats. I want to look out my floor to ceiling wooden framed windows and view acres and acres of farm land. My back yard will end at the forest and will be a haven for a family of deer. I can do some gardening unbothered and harvest the freshest tomatoes, butter beans, okra, black eyed peas, corn, cabbage, peppers and watermelon ever! I’m determined to have this again one day. Y’all can have the city. Lol -K

I’ve been brave enough to share my weird obsession keen appreciation of The Andy Griffith Show with some of you. Yes, this 80s baby loves TAGS! My parents were fans of the show and we always watched it in our home. Did you guys know there is a free 24/7 TAGS channel on Pluto TV? NO?? You’re welcome!

So here are some random thoughts about the show. Let me know if you agree/disagree.

-Peggy McMillian was the shit! She was so sultry and effortlessly beautiful. I loved her character! The scene where she and Andy sing together on the porch with Opie admiring them is probably my favorite scene of the whole series. Andy was so insecure and silly when it came to her. He did not deserve Peggy at all lol. I read the actress that played her (Joanna Moore) lived a very troubled and sad life. She was Tatum Oneal’s mom.  

-I thought Lydia was freaking hilarious. Barney calling her an albatross was pure comedy.

-Speaking of Barney, no one can deny his effect on TAGS. Barney absolutely made the show and when he left, the show lost its luster. He had so many memorable moments. It’s hard to say which one was his best performance. I’ll have to say the one where he was the soloist in the choir and they deaden his mic. He was a horrible singer! 

-Aunt Bee’s best moment was when she got drunk off the medicine man’s elixir. I liked seeing her be lighthearted and silly. I didn’t like how they made her mostly only good for baking and housekeeping. Apparently, she didn’t care for it either in real life. I get it was the 60s but still. Rumor has it that she and Andy did not get along. You could never tell on screen. 

-Of course Andy was likeable and charismatic. My mom didn’t care for him that much and often referred to him as a liar. Lol, she was right. Andy lied a lot! Especially when it came to saving Barney’s ego. Once Barney left, Andy lost a lot of personality to me. He became more serious and was harder on Opie. You could sense the tension in that first season after Barney left the show. 

-I thought Helen was a good choice of a mate for Andy. She was more of his speed and Andy appeared more comfortable with her compared to his other love interests. I thought she was pretty. 

-I wish we could have seen what Juanita looked like. Lol

-Of course Opie was adorable in the black and white episodes. My favorite episode of him was when he allowed himself to be influenced by Arnold, the spoiled kid. Oh, also the episode where he raised the baby birds after killing their mother. He was such a good child actor. I love the adoration he had for Andy.

-Citizen’s arrest! Citizen’s arrest!

-Bless Howard Sprague’s heart. He was so boring. 

-Gomer Pyle was so likable that he got his own show. I didn’t watch USMC but I loved his character on TAGS. Mr. Lifesaver Man is one of my favorite episodes. 

-The education of Ernest T Bass is too funny. He said the raccoons taught him how to wash his food before eating it. You can tell everyone was holding back from laughing throughout that episode.

-What did Thelma Lou do for a living? She had a nice home and looked well maintained but never mentioned going to work. Was she a trust fund baby? An escort?? LMAO. I loved her and Barney’s antics. 

-There are some many other likable characters like Floyd, Goober, Malcolm Merriweather and the famous Otis Campbell that I would love to write about, but I feel I’ve fangirled long enough. 

-Characters I really didn’t care for: Ms. Clara, The Darlings, The Guitar Player, Mayor Stoner and the choir director. 

 I know this post is not for everyone, but this is just a tiny snippet of my little country bumpkin world. Maybe I like it so much because I’m from a town that’s even smaller than Mayberry. I can relate to a lot of their happenings and simple way of life. If you’ve never watched TAGS, give it a try. You may actually fall in love with it also!

-K